So I sit here, I guess wondering why time and time again I find myself in this same place... It's just like a circle. (and we all know circles never end)... and so then i think of this quote and I'm like maybe (subconsciously) I think this is what I deserve.
Maybe I think that I deserve to never have a real relationship, that I deserve men who paint beautiful pictures and place them in the worst frames (you know those men who tell you just have fun, live in the now type shit, when they talk you into doing something that you really don't want to do), maybe I deserve to give so much and just be taken for granted.
And I kind of think this is true now that I sit down and really think about it. Like there may be a guy who clearly is nice, likes me for the right reasons, and just cool as shit and we just click but time and time again i seem to just push it aside or away. And it's like I could be in love with person but I would never admit it to him or more then my closest closest friends and my mother. I'd probably tell my mother how much of a nice guy he is and how he's going to make some girl really reall happy. But will I ever let that girl be me?
Stay Awake to the Ways of The World
1 comment:
Ceejay, I really think you did a good job onn this particular entry. That is def a tough thing for you to consider, i imagine. I know many people feel that way about people, but they are not sure what they should do about it. They may think that they wanna be in a relationship with someone, but that someone might not be the one for them, that person might want only one thing, or that someone might be a close friend. But the determining factor in realizing that someone is right for you is to take a chance, because not all people are the same. I know that a lot of guys try to just get a certain thing, or just might not want to be in a relationship. Thats where you gotta search for REAL men, and not those dudes who are immature. Your worth it so dont settle for less buddy.
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