Happy Birthday

So my birthday is right around the corner.
Supposed to be going to the beach. I don't know if I'm even really that excited to go. I don;t really like the beach. It is calming though... like when Davreen, Nessy and I went to Ocean City last year it was so relaxing to just sit on the beach as the sun rose and stand on the rocks in the middle of the ocean (making sure I didn't slip)
I was like I was at peace.
Welll.... I kinda need that right now. My mom is leaving for Iraq and Afghanistan on the 25th and won't be here for my birthday. It'll be there first time she's been away from me on my birthday. It kinda scares me... well it does. I worry alot. Like something could go wrong. She doesn't know how to shoot well. I can see the stress on her face as the 25th gets closer and closer. And it scares me.
I don;t think I'll even be able to enjoy my birthday not really knowing that she's okay.

So yeahh... this should be just about the worst birthday ever